Bittersweet anniversary

The video feed activates, Mitara stands holding a datapad, facing the camera. Her face is red, her eyes slightly swollen, tears stream from them.

She unceremoniously tosses the datapad onto the side table and throws herself into the oversized chair.

I am a fool, a God Damned fool.

Her hand covers her eyes and her body shudders and she begins to cry... again.

Why did I ask him...? What was I thinking!?

She throws her head back, lying across the chair.

He was so shocked, I thought he may never speak. I wish he hadn't. To be denied because of another would be bearable, the knowledge that someone else that may, or may not, be my better.... I can live with that... but Oaths... I was defeated before I even wished to join the fight.

She shakes her head.

Then he suggests something hidden... something secret... How could I shroud myself so? Is he even the man I thought him to be... to even think of betraying himself or his Order? Oh, let us not forget his role as proxy for that betraying, manipulative rat.

I am a fool.

More tears roll down her face

Yet I am broken... I ache as never before... My breath escapes me... What hold does he have over me still? I wanted nothing more than for him to continue to hold my hand in his... I stopped him... WHY?

Because he is not what I thought him to be, that is what I will tell myself... Will I come to believe it?

Mitara closes her eyes, she looks very tired

Why did Laerise have to be there, I just wanted to have one drink in solitude to dull the pain and shame, and instead I am shamed more because she sees me... weeping like a baby...

Oh God... Damn you Shalee... Damn you Laerise... Why did I listen you?

Her words begin to trail off...

Happy Anniversary... Happy...

A few incomprehsible mumbles escape her lips before the nights alcholol takes it's hold as she passes out.