The Application

It has been little over a week since Mr Shutaq applied to the Praetoria. I do not think I had slept more than a few hours in those early days. I had been keeping my normal patrols up, so by all appearances things were as they should be, except to perhaps Ensign Saint. Carelessly I fell asleep... or passed out, in his Pax Praetoria club. I found myself in that chair, my face resting on it's padded arm like a pillow. My empty glass and nearly empty bottle of wine were sitting on the nearby table. Ensign Saint didn't seem to make much of it. Either he's wise enough to keep any thoughts to himself, or he's just flat out stupid. Even though he's a rock breaker, I'd wager it's the former.

I followed up my interview with Mr Shutaq there, in Pax Praetoria. He agreed to the additional terms regarding the Basilica, and with that, he was cleared to submit his formal application. I do not remember if I said something to expose myself, or if it was just clearly written on my face...

"You don't want me to join, do you?"

"Your course is set, Mr Shutaq. I will not impede it. Nor can you now."

My Captain's duty forced me to say it, lest we lose a capable combat veteran whose loyalty to the Empire is without question. I tried to leave then, giving him some type of encouragement. I am sure the words sounded hollow and mechanical. Then of all things he could have spoke..

"Want a drink?"

His half smile and playful gesture towards the minibar caught me totally off guard... the Captain was gone.

For some time we where there. Mr Shutaq laid out his life's story between glasses of whiskey and wine. By the time he reached when he became a capsuleer, I'm not sure how much we had enjoyed. It was enough that we were impaired, that is certain. The anti-climatic manner in which he spoke of being a capsuleer after such a lavish and grand story prior, also caught me by surprise. The humor I found in it must have been great, because I was unable to contain my laughter.

I was sitting on the arm of his chair... that chair... doubled over trying to catch my breath. By proxy he was infected, and succumbed to hysterics. I was the first to recover, finally being able to sit upright. Towards the end of his throws of laughter, his head came to rest on my lap.

Finally, here I was at last, as I had wished to be those many weeks ago, at the Utopian Dream. I looked down into his dark eyes, a residual smile lighting up his face, and gave myself into the most basic of desires. As my lips were pressed against his, I fought back the waves of decorum and decency trying to stop me. I was successful, for a moment. In that moment, all things fell away, all things... until there was nothing left but a man and a woman, Aldrith and I, sharing the slightest spark of the Divine.

I will never be able to share that moment with him again.
His application was accepted hours later.
Ensign Shutaq.

I'm beginning to find sleep easier. Wine has been of some help in that regard. I have again given myself to my duties, though they are not coming as easily as in the past. I pray God will give me the strength to fully be their Captain again, as my station demands.

END

Time

Mitara sits in her usual chair, scrolling through something on her datapad

Has it truly been a month since I last sat to record my thoughts? Where does the time go? Hmm, where to start... with corporate duties I suppose...

She folds her hands over her datapad and looks off through the portal window.

After the fall of Halmah, our military installation reporting system has become all the more important. The speed at which the Tribals took the system was frightening. My hope is that some pilots on the first shift after prayer time will take it upon themselves to do a full defensive sweep, so that we may have a better idea of how to plan the rest of the days patrols. Time will tell.

The corporate shop was launched to the excitement of some. There have been only minor tweaks to the systems that have been needed, so I am quite pleased with thus far. Commodore Piskonit was very unhappy with the amount of initial backing donated to seed the shop. The time line for price reductions and increasing the amount of stocked items will need to be stretched.

Her attention back to her datapad, giving it a few taps and scrolling through some type of list

I have very much out of touch with our roster. My time spent on systems work has made it difficult to keep much of a presence overseeing our junior officers or doing recruitment work. I have had opportunity to lead some small fleets, primary doing defensive and probing work.

She stops scrolling and raises an eyebrow toward the item displayed

LtJg Lianne... Though she still very much has a defiant streak in her, she has been a model Praetorian of late. She has been very dutiful in her patrols, and has volunteered readily for missions as they come up. The calm before the storm? I pray not.

Mitara places the datapad on the side table next to her. She shakes her head slightly and sighs

I ventured into the so called "PIE Peons Club" some of our junior officers have taken to hold up in during their down time. Apparently one of the Admirals former Arbitrator class vessels, it has been gutted and .... defaced. A little horrid shanty that I pray will never been seen by outside eyes.

A small smile forms on her lips and she again gazes out the portal window, looking lost in thought for a moment before again speaking

I invited Mr Shutaq to join me aboard the Utopian Dream for a change of scenery, and a chance to perhaps truly relax. We enjoyed some light lunch that I had prepared...

She smirks, "We both are alive to tell the tale..."

Good conversation was had as we snacked on the beach, looking out over the lake. I managed to convince Mr Shutaq to join me for a swim afterward. It was wonderful. Just two people sharing each others laughs and time. Not Captain nor Sephirot, nor thoughts of Tribal warships, nor stewardship duties. I would have liked it to last much longer. Alas, Mr Shutaq was the first to be brought back to our lives of servitude, and was called away.

I remained for a while, alone, recounting the day to help better remember it. Even doing so, the memory has already begun to erode... God's way of urging us to make new memories I imagine.